The Wanderer Goes International
by John Andreula
Edited by Kodid Laraque-Two Elk
None of you are probably wondering where your friendly Denver-neighborhood wanderer has been at lately.
Settle in and I’ll tell you. I’ve been working, and writing fiction, but luckily, that’s not important right now.
The pressing question of the moment is Where’s The Wanderer going next?
I’m going to Paradise.
Not heaven, for heaven’s sake, no. Like Biggie said “It don’t make sense, goin’ to heaven with the goodie-goodies. Dressed in white, I like Black Timbs and black hoodies.”
No, I’m just going on vacation with my family to Paradise Island.
Paradise Island, I’ve just learned from my research on the Google, is an itty-bitty island off the coast of a very small island called Nassau. Nassau and Paradise Island are part of the island chain known as the Bahamas, which is part of the US Virgin Islands.
But that’s how my wandering thing works. I just show up and wander around. What better place to do it than in Paradise?
So I have my passport, and my significantly over-priced airline tickets. I have my sunglasses, suntan lotion, and a minimal amount of spending cash. I have about twenty pounds of food in my check bag because I hope to save some money there. We’ll see how that goes with all the airlines baggage throwers and whatnot.
Hopefully Paradise Island is in fact an island, as it appears on Google maps. That will mean there will be a beach. Judging from my increasingly hazy recollection of past trips to the Caribbean I expect there will be pink or white sand, and very clear blue water.
I also know from the website of the swanky resort I am booked at that there will be a water-park attached to the hotel. Extensive pool time and water-sliding will definitely be in the cards for me.
My trusted advisors inform me that everything on the island is expensive, so that goes against my usual modus operandi. I will be on the hunt for bargains and deals, as my frugality compels me. I’m certain to be working out my negotiation muscles as well if there are any markets or bazaars (Are there even any bazaars in this hemisphere?).
I’m sure by now anyone still reading this is thinking to themselves, “You suck, wanderer!” Trust me, I understand. While you read this at work, or on the toilet, or at work on the toilet, know that I am not exclusively writing this to brag about my upcoming good fortune.
I penned this because I usually tell my The Wanderer tales from an after-the-experience perspective. That’s fun and all, but I thought it would be an interesting challenge to consider a wandering from this side of the journey. Let’s call it a wondering.
So, to all my beloved readers, by the time this posts on 5280Geek.com I will have already made my trip, had my fun (or gotten mugged and food poisoned), and then ventured back home and am probably working at my job today.
There will be no point in telling the tale of my trip then. Unless of course there is. Then you’ll certainly be hearing about it.
Thanks for checking out this week’s The Wanderer.
And don’t forget to wash your hands before returning back to work.
John Andreula is a wandering geek residing in Westminster, Colorado.
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