Brightest Thanksgiving In Blackest Year
Your Quarters Worth: Special Holiday Edition
Happy Thanksgiving, 5280 Geeks! If you are reading this. I’m thankful for you.
I’m thankful for Smurf, publisher and 5280Geek director extraordinaire. He provides me and all the other site contributors with this awesome platform. I’m also grateful for those other contributors for their wonderful insights and the content they produce and never charge for. Their recommendations and humor are a bright beacon in an otherwise dreary landscape of bad news and miscellaneous downers.
Additionally and especially, I’m also grateful for my beautiful wife, partner, best friend, and editor, Leyla Kodid. She allows me to neglect familial responsibilities while I write my goofy and asinine columns. Then she edits my blathering wanderings with minimal sighs or harrumphs.
2020-style Thanksgiving is going look quite different, like nearly everything else this year. It’s going to be quieter and much more subdued than typical.
Holiday meals will consist of only immediate family and household members. In many homes a tablet or phone will be set tableside to virtually share a meal with friends and loved ones near and far.
It’s depressing if we let it become so, but there’s plenty to be grateful for and celebrate during this strange and surreal period. Many of us have already experienced birthdays and other celebrations during this pandemic and were able to make them memorable.
There will be less cooking and dishes to do, less family arguments and disputes over election results and philosophical points of view.
Thanksgiving can still be wonderful if we continue to overcompensate in the love and attention we share with one another, thus making up for the pure suck 2020 is still trying to be.
The youngest and lowest paid among us can enjoy a brief respite tonight as pandemic has big box stores deciding to pivot away from opening on Thanksgiving evening.
That’s generous of them, considering the corporations’ billionaire owners have amassed almost a trillion dollars in additional wealth since the coronavirus hit stateside back in March, enough to feed and clothe the entire nation.
The coronavirus spreading masses–AKA The Walking Dead–will just have to wait until Friday at 5:00 AM to trample and stampede one another in hopes of a deal on a TV they can’t afford and don’t really need. It will likely cause another viral spike that will break the Black Friday Death Count this year—another win for ‘Merica!
Maybe it’ll be better if we just tell little Jenny and Jimmy there won’t be a Tickle-Me-Elmo or a PS-whatever under the menorah this season, but there’ll certainly be plenty of extra quality time.
COVID-19 likely was created in a laboratory by one of Lex Luthor’s–AKA Jeff Bezos’–minions in a super-villain-like attempt to divert all the world’s spending to his website, but we can all be superheroes as we buck the system and break the cycle of shameless, brainless consumerism and the depression and debt that come with it.
This is why Thanksgiving is, and always has been, better than Christmas. It still can be, even in 2020!
Make today and the rest of the holiday season the best one possible.
Instead of buying useless shit for our shelves, closets and storage units, spend time with those in our pods. Play with the toys we received past holiday seasons that have been just collecting dust in our homes. Carve out space for virtual face-to-faces with those we care for who aren’t able to be with us, especially those who are alone or struggling.
Finally, make a donation if possible. There are more people in need than ever this year and food and toy drives are being held everywhere.
If you’re in or around Denver you can donate food, toys, and money at any one of the drop-off locations in support of the 5280Geek sponsored Cosplay Toy & Food Drive. It’s the fourth iteration of this amazing event. This year it will be held drive thru style because, you know, apocalypse.
Be sure to wave to Smurf, Aaron, and the rest of the Colorado Ghostbusters if you roll in.
Thanks again for being one of the best and coolest 5280 Geeks.
Of course, thanks for reading this Special Holiday Edition Your Quarters Worth.
P.S., while shopping this holiday season, understand something–a special edition doesn’t in fact make it special. That’s just a marketing ploy designed to get you to spend more money.
But if you insist on arbitrarily collecting, the standard edition of this Quarters Worth is available as well. Just send your credit card, social security number, and mother’s maiden name and we’ll get it right out to you. Sorry no C.O.D.s.
Have a blessed and peaceful Thanksgiving and don’t forget to remember who and what are most important. We’ll see you all again real soon. Until then, stay turkey!
Holiday gratitude by John Andreula.
Cooking and editing by Kodid Laraque-Two Elk