Your Quarters Worth

Ten Places We’d Rather Be Than In This Friggin’ Heat

It’s friggin’ hot outside this week. So hot in fact, heat stroke replaced COVID-19 as the number one reason people are checking into emergency rooms.

That may not actually be true, but it sure feels like it. Our brains melted out of our earholes and we’re wheeling five gallon spring water jugs behind us in Red Rider wagons.

When temps stay below 90° simple tasks such as cobbling sentences together and being pleasant to others seems manageable. However, when the thermometer creeps up on 100° as it did for multiple days earlier this week, it comes time to strip down to skivvies and hide out in a cool basement.

Luckily for 5280 Geeks, that’s where the word processing sausage is made. Anyone expecting to further rouse us had better bring a spatula and be ready for some partial nudity and/or vulgar language.

It wouldn’t be fair to take a week off from Your Quarter’s Worth to complain about a sweaty undercarriage and to shop for inflatable kiddie pools, so we’ve decided to consider all the places we’d rather be than in this ridiculous heat wave.

Without further talk about the weather, here’s Ten Places We’d Rather Be Than In This Friggin’ Heat:

In the Shade, any Shade

In a Walk-In Fridge or Freezer

In the Mountains

Anywhere North

Under an Umbrella

In the Pool

Aboard an Ice Cream Truck

Standing In Front of an Air Conditioner

En Route to Alaska

Any Combination of the Above

By the time Your Quarter’s Worth publishes, Colorado’s front range will have seen the cold front bring temperatures back down to a cool 90°. If you’re saying to yourself Man, this week’s Quarter’s Worth sure sucks, shut your mouth. You’re letting out too much heat!

Thanks for reading, even through sweaty eyeballs.

Until next time, stay cool and geeky.

Written by John Andreula. Edited by Kodid Laraque-Two Elk.

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